Friday, September 2, 2011

Mitchell in the Morning! 2011, week #35 in review!

- Excitement builds as the crew begins a discussion about the up and coming football season. The conversation deteriorates into a yelling and grunting contest.
- The MTV VMAs took place over the weekend...
- Yoandri Hernandez Garrido, from Cuba, become Mitchell's obsession for the last hour of the show. Jarvis thinks that this 12 fingered, 12 toed man, was sent from the devil.

- NBC is planning to show every event at the upcoming Olympics in London live somehow. Mitchell will be watching an even smaller percentage of the Olympic coverage then.
- The crew get excited with the release of "Reggae's Gone Country" from Warner Music Nashville and VP Records. "Finally, we are reclaiming our people's music!" says Jarvis.
- "Can't we just make it so hurricanes can't break stuff?" says Mitchell in response to all the continuing issues with hurricane Irene.

- Gilbert hears about the case of gout in America quadrupling in the past decade. "It's a more dismal situation than when my first born son was hit by that truck and was in a coma for the better part of a year..."
- Mitchell wants the book thrown at the Feds for dropping the remaining charges against Barry Bonds, because the have big dumb heads just like him. 
- The wildfires in Texas and Oklahoma cause much concern among the crew, as it may interrupt the start of the college football season.

- Mitchell exclaims "Mel Gibson has to pay his ex-girlfriend $750,000?! What the #^@% for?!"
- HD85512b, the newest discovered planet about 36 light years, could be perfect for supporting life. Jarvis calls for war.
- Retailers report gains in the month of August. The crew agrees that Wal-Mart is the best thing since they put beer holders in cars.

- Mitchell has his soul crushed when he reads that Alice Cooper said "Lady Gaga is the female Alice Cooper...She totally gets it." because now he has to hate Alice Cooper.
- Scientists now think humans were using stone axes as far back as 1.76 million years ago, Jarvis calls BS because all the pictures are just of rocks, and "those scientists are just trying to destroy Jesus."
- A 6.8 earthquake hits the Alaskan Islands, and the crew wonders why we are supposed to care what happens in Canada.

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