Saturday, October 1, 2011

Mitchell in the Morning! 2011, week #39 in review!

- Jane Goodall's movie, "Jane's Journey", will be shown in 500 theaters for one night only. Mitchell has no idea who this woman is and want to go to a screening just to throw poop at the screen
- Jarvis returns to the show with his tail between his legs after learning that the falling satellite landed in the Pacific. "On the plus side though, I have a shelter for when the Swiss invade."
- A new study out of Kaiser Permanente Southern California, links asthma and Type 1 diabetes. "Well that explains why our third daughter is gone..." says Gilbert.

- "More reasons to hate hip-hop." is Mitchell's reaction to a report saying the latest trend in the hip-hop community is wearing women's clothing.
- Cyril canot contain his glee when he hears that the 2014 Super Bowl will be played outside in a cold weather city, East Rutherford, NJ. "Football is finally getting back to it's roots! I wonder if they'll wear the traditional skis too..."
- "This is the sleeper attack the Nazis have been planning since 1941! If we go get that treasure the Nazi curse will kill us all!", is Jarvis' response to the discovery of the sunken SS Gairsoppa off the Irish coast.

- 131,300 pounds of ground beef contaminated with e.coli has been recalled. Boyd takes this as a challenge and calla round to super markets in an effort to find some tainted meat. This is all in an effort to prove his superiority.
- Mitchell can hardly contain his excitement when he hears that Elton John will be doing a 3 year stay at Caesar's in Las Vegas. "That bad ass rocks so hard, I bet he gets so much trim!"
- Quirky, a new iPhone app, was released. The app allows invention submissions that the Quirky team will then develop. "I thought of this back in the '70s. You had to write in though... and I never got around to actually making anything... let alone check the PO box..." says Cyril.

- Frank and Louie, a 2 faced cat owned by a Massachusetts man, Marty, was the topic of discussion o open the show. Jarvis and Boyd argue about whether it should be put down. Jarvis says it's a sign from the devil, while Boyd contests that it " the most rare glorious pet ever to have existed!"
- Dengue fever has been running rampant in Pakistan. "After last night's chili I've been running rampant to the bathroom." proclaims Gilbert.
- The show ends abruptly when Mitchell punches Cyril in the face for claiming that football is the national pastime and that "...the upcoming MLB playoffs are pointless." Mitchell followed his assault with "This is 'Merica! You shut your dirty mouth! Although, football is pretty awesome, it ain't no pastime."

- A theater in Utah was fined for showing the movie "Hangover II". "They should be, that movie didn't have ONE of the Blue Collar guys in it, no way it was funny." Mitchell says.
- The Indianapolis Colts will be starting Painter instead of Payton Manning, a report says. "Which one? Pollock? Monet?" questions Cyril.
-  "AlphaDog is going to be the start of it. Next, a robot will be giving birth to a whole new race of metal abominations!" says Jarvis after watching the testing video of Boston Dynamics robot.

No comments:

Post a Comment