Saturday, October 15, 2011

Mitchell in the Morning! 2011, week #41 in review!

- "This is witchcraft! Anke Domaske must be burned at the steak!" Anke is a German fashion designer who has developed a fabric made from milk, Jarvis disagrees. "Sounds yummy!" says Max.
- Netflix kills Quikster and goes back to it's model from earlier this year. "Burned again," says Gilbert, "just like every year during Christmas. Last year I got second degree ones."
- "That's right India, eat that crap up! I'll be able to conquer you more easily that way! Just like England did!" is Boyd's response to the growing popularity of Western fast food outlets in the East.

- Mitchell can't open the show because he is too busy eating as much chocolate as he possibly can "It lowers my risk of stroke!" he garbles.
- "More football in Europe!? They already play it there and they have it all wrong! Don't let them screw it up for us!" Cyril responds to the new deal struck okaying games in Britain through 2016.
- "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Taylor Swift is amazing! I want to wear her skin!" says Charlotte about Taylor Swift's newest title, Billboard Woman of the Year.

- "Noooo, Phoenix can't go to jail! That guy is doing it right!" says Boyd about the recent arrest of Phoenix Jones. "Superhero!" says Max.
- The Black Death is still around, and scientists have cracked it genetic code. Gilbert asks, "Guys...I need you to feel me. Do I have a fever? I think I have a fever. Yep, pretty sure it's a fever! Oh shit, guys, I have the plague. M God Damned ex-wife did this to me!" Scientists now know it can be treated with antibiotics.
- "I knew God hated this country, and this proves it! We need to clean this place up!' says Mitchell after yet another rain delay in the ALCS.

- Mitchell opens the show in the best mood any of the crew has ever seen him in. As he passes out shot to everyone he says "No more worries about those livers crew! They can now make us new ones using seed cells or whatever!"
- If no agreement is reached in the NBA talks by next week, there may be no games for Christmas. "I'm actually getting worried now. What happens if this goes into other sports we care about? THIS is how they will unravel society as we know it!" says Jarvis.
- The Girl Scouts of America have added some new badges to be relevant in the modern day (Computer Expert, Digital Movie Maker, and Locavore). "Wait a minute," says Cyril, "there's already a GIRL Scouts? I have to make a phone call..."

- Wildlife groups in New Orleans are suing in an attempt to protect turtles from shrimpers. "I like turtles." says Max.
- "Angelina is SO amazing, and so brave! I love that she is standing up and doing great things! She's going to save Libya!" is Charlotte's reaction to Angelina Jolie's recent vist to Libya.
- The iPhone 4S was released today. "I don't see the point frankly, " says Cyril, "I've been slowly adding all those features to my phone from 1990. All you have to do is attach them." He then produces a Frankenstein-esque abomination of technology for the crew to marvel at.

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