Saturday, October 22, 2011

Mitchell in the Morning! 2011, week #42 in review!

- Scientists think that animals around the world are shrinking due to global climate change. "Now this is change I can get behind!" says Jarvis "Boyd! All the animals will be more our size now!". "Oh hell yea! Taking over the world is gonna be awesome! I wanna ride an elephant!" responds Boyd.
- Mitchell is impressed by the new Springsteen museum in New Jersey. "The Boss still rules!". "He's no Bob Seger..." says Cyril.
- Charlotte complains, "OMG, I still don't have full service on my BlackBerry, how in the world am I supposed to keep up on all my crushes?! I need it! I can't sleep!"

- "The man is back! I cannot wait to see this badassery in action! Schwarzenegger and Knoxville, you can't go wrong!" is Boyd's reaction to the announcement of "The Last Stand"
- "Wait, wait, wait... Are they saying I have a small brain? They're stupid, I'm the only one who knows the truth about the world!" says Jarvis about a new study that shows having more Facebook friends increases the size of certain brain regions.
- Enceladus might be a skiers paradise, is the headline that prompts Cyril into his pitch of "The Moon Ski Board™, the only way to enjoy the universe from the slopes!"

- "Just keep your head up Lindsay, I know you didn't do anything wrong. You're just going back to jail because the judge is jealous you still look so good at 45!" LIndsay Lohan, age 25, being defended by Charlotte.
- "Sexting" has been named the most annoying tech word recently added to the dictionary in recent years. "I don't even know what that means, is that like a disease or something?" asks Mitchell. "Yes it is," responds Gilbert "my ex-wife tried convincing me I had that for years. Turns out she had it."
- Presidential candidate Rick Perry is presumed to be proposing the Flat Tax in an upcoming speech. Max responds, "But I'm all out of flat money, my money is all crinkly."

- The forecast for the coming winter, "Cold north, dry south, heavy snow". "Sounds like my second and fourth marriage..." says Gilbert.
- " 'Merica we need to band together! There ain't no way I'm going to let them Chinese own all that cheese!" says Mitchell about the newest controversy involving China and their planned space station. 
- Max breaks down after hearing about Michael Jackson's testimony for the trial where he is being cited as the one to cause his death. "I didn't even know hMichael Jackson was dead! Why didn't I hear about this? I love that lady!" 

- During physicals for a trade in the NFL, Ronnie Brown discovered he has a brain tumor. "That's lucky, they still haven't found the one I have." says Gilbert.
- Uproarious laughter fills the studio when Mitchell reads a quote from Rupert Murdoch, "I made a huge mistake." Referencing the 2005 purchase of Myspace.
- Charlotte zones out and refuses to take part in the show, and will only talk on her phone after reading a recent study that shows no link between cell phones and cancer.

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