Saturday, December 3, 2011
Mitchell in the Morning! 2011, week #48 in review!
- Mitchell opens the show asking the obvious questions about Thanksgiving and Black Friday, "Did you do any shopping then Charlotte?". Charlotte was distracted and only answered, peering out from behind her laptop, "Cyber Monday."
- Brazil now says it has AIDS 'under control', "Well good, now i can use the bathroom there next time I visit. I probably won't be going there anytime soon though, I'm allergic to Portugese." says Gilbert.
- Sanchez threw 4 touchdowns to help the Jets win over the Bills, "I'm not really sure who he is, but he sounds dirty." says Cyril about the Jets win over the Bills.
- "Oh yea! Let's trust that! Worms aren't even like people! really dropping the ball this time science!" is Jarvis' response to a new study that has monitored the life of worms in space to prepare for the journey to Mars.
- After hearing the next story, Boyd throws his phone into the wall, breaking it. Turns out Wi-Fi can kill your sperm, "Gotta keep my little guys alive so I can keep the generations pumping out! I'm going to need a blood line after I gain control."
- "ROBO COP! ROBO COP! ROBO COP!" is Max's reaction to a news story that covers some robots that will used to help guard prisons in South Korea.
- "Ok this just proves that scientists are disgusting people with no morals and no understanding of the world!" is Jarvis' reaction to a story describing how the first washing machine designed for space has been commissioned.
- "OMG Koutney Kardashian is expecting again, EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" says Charlotte. "I didn't know men could have babies now." responds Max.
- A new study finds that newer hip implants are better than the older ones, "Good to hear," says Boyd, "gotta keep this body working as long as possible! I'm going to be the oldest functional one of all of us! I might as well just get 'em now, throw in some new shoulders too."
- As Mitchell reads a story about a NASA rocket engine being sold by an unnamed person, Cyril creeps out of the studio slowly, when stopped he says, "I uh...I just... I'll see you guys tomorrow ok? I gotta go make some ...chili?"
- "I wish I was a mouse, they get all the good stuff first." says Gilbert after hearing about how scientists are moving ever closer to being to correct a cleft lip before they are even born.
- When Max hears that both Google and NORAD will be tracking Santa this year, he gets very excited. "We're gonna get him this year! And I'm gonna take him home and get all the presents! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
- Boyd comes in to the studio with a mysterious package that will "Change the way the world listens to [Boyd]". "I just heard that something very common can predict earthquakes, so I have a box full of them here so I can lord over the earthquake prediction market!" Just then Charlotte opened the box and she screamed as she was overrun with toads.
- A new study shows that quitting smoking may be hard for some due to a genetic disposition. "I've done my best to get rid of my genes but the damn things won't go away!" says Gilbert. Mitchell responds, "I guess being a quitter just isn't in my jeans... ladies."
- Jarvis and Cyril are arguing about the newest set of 18 planets that have been discovered, "It's all trickery!" argues Jarvis. "They're real because made them... er, discovered them. Well I invented the telescope anyway!" responds Cyril.