Saturday, December 10, 2011

Mitchell in the Morning! 2011, week #49 in review!

- "Nooooooooooooo!" screams Cyril as Mitchell reads the opening story of the day. As it turns out, Madonna will be the half time show at the Super Bowl. "Madonna will be ruined!"
- "They just 'discovered' it huh? I'd be willing to bet they have a base there already, and they are just waiting to round up the few they want to keep, and they will leave the rest of us here to rot!" says Jarvis in response to hearing the discovery of Kepler-22b.
-  Max has a new favorite show that he shares with the crew, "Ok, so it's some kittens right. And they are watching TV, but on the TV is ice skating! And they really like it!"

- Through a glitch, it was revealed that Mark Zuckerburg is boring. Charlotte broke down in tears while Gilbert screamed, "I knew it! I knew it! I knew I had something over that guy! This might be the only thing, but I sure am interesting!"
- A new study shows that steroids may help prematurely born babies in surviving. "I'm about the size of a baby, I wonder what they would do if I tried them. Couldn't hurt!" responds Boyd.
- Ohio state prosecutors are seeking the death penalty for Richard J. Beasley (a.k.a. "The Craig's List Killer") in his upcoming trial. Mitchell responds, "I'm all for killing the son of a bitch, while they're at it they should kill the guy who invented Google, not just the Craig's List guy. It's weird though, that guy's name isn't even Craig."

- "Kick him out of the country too! We don't want his kind!" says Mitchell in response to hearing that Alec Baldwin was kicked off of a plane, "He is Jewish right?". "Steven is my favorite Jew then." says Max.
- A Federal Judge in Montana has ruled that bloggers aren't journalists. "Take that Lady Envy! Take you down a peg, bitch!" Charlotte exclaims.
- "I wish I was a bed bug then, that would have saved a lot of pain." says Gilbert when he hears a story that says the bed bugs don't suffer from the ill effects of inbreeding.

- The rapper 50 Cent has said that he will be releasing a fitness book at the beginning of next year. "I wonder if it includes being shot nine times,", ponders Boyd, "I think I could take at least six..."
- "Those are mine actually, I actually haven't washed them in quite a while. Plus with all of my conditions, it gets a little funky." says Gilbert when hears about the world oldest bedding being found.
- A recent report shows that NASA seems to have lost some of the material collected from the moon. Upon hearing this Cyril sneaks out of the studio. Max calls out, "Where are you going Cyril? You were gonna show me some rocks you said you found."

- While scrolling through unimportant sports news Jarvis  stops the show to call out Mitchell. "You're leaving the show? What the hell gnome?!? For boxing of all things? I knew you hated us!", he then reads the headline 'Mitchell steps into spotlight'. Mitchell responds, "Seth Mitchell you idiot! I'm not a boxer, I got no reach. I do hate you all though."
- Mitchell has the crew line up for a sniff test, then breaks the news, "Well this study applies to at least two of you." He was referencing a Russian study that states that STD's may cause foul smelling sweat.
- "Well I'm just going to have to get breast cancer then,", says Charlotte, "because I am NOT giving up mashed potatoes! I'll give up my subscription to Star magazine before I do that!", all this is a response to a study that says that starchy foods may boost risk of breast cancer recurrence. 

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