Friday, January 20, 2012

Facebook Hate





What started as a harmless way to stay in touch with distant friends and family has become an addiction and annoyance. The issues with Facebook is not necessarily the site itself, however I am not saying that it's perfect. I'm not mad, this is not an anger post. I'm just going to say the things we all think. 


  • Duplicate Photo Uploads: What? Why? Seeing that dumb picture of your cat once was enough!
  • Political Statuses: It's boring. And hard to agree with. We hear it enough on TV and radio. 
  • "I LOVE GOD" Statuses: Not all of us do! So keep it to yourself.
  • Invites to Games: We would ALL rather waste our time playing REAL video games opposed to the shitty Farmville, Mafia Wars, Vampire Wars or whatever! So stop sending us invites because we don't give a shit!
  • GRANDMA!!!!: I don't know when the trend started, but I sure remember the day that my Grandma Facebooked me. That friend request sat untouched for about 4 months, I shit you not! I knew the responsibility it would come with. I also knew how hurt she would be if I didn't accept it, and hurting Grandma's feelings is pure evil. So I accepted. SURE ENOUGH in the first month of our new friendship, my dad gets a call from granny saying how surprised and offended she is at the language and actions of her grandchildren!!!! And that was the day that I started withdrawing from Facebook. 
  • Suggested Friends: I don't even know who this person is!!!
  • 30 Day Challenges: GROW UP.
  • Poking: ......Does it EVER END?!?!?!
  • "Gifts": ....What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? 
  • Bad Tagged Photos: "(Name) Has Tagged you in a photo!"     Me: "YAY!!"....(See a TERRIBLE picture of myself)..... "EEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Lost Phone/ Need Phone Numbers Groups: Odds are that you never had my phone number to begin with.
  • Depressing Statuses: Stop it.
  • Bragging Statuses: Stop it. 
  • "I Have a Headache/ Migraine" Statuses: Pop a handful of pills and get over it. 
  • "Going to the Gym!" Statuses: Good for you! You get a Gold Star!!!
  • Facebook Updates: The new 'Timeline' is just an example. But Facebook's constant renovations are truly aggravating. And there is no escaping it. 
  • Automatic Twitter Updates: Facebook and Twitter do not belong together. If you have made the mistake of synchronizing you FB and Twitter, I am purposely ignoring all of your updates for the rest of your life. 
  • A much needed 'Dislike' button: Through every Facebook renovation, WHY DOESN'T THIS EXIST YET?!?! ....It just makes sense. 
  • Attention Whores: Put your newly pierced tongue back in your mouth..... You're 16! If you're desperate for attention, go somewhere else for it. You advertise your your skank- ass on Facebook, and then you wonder why people start shit and call you a hoe. Nice work, you fucking idiot! We are now all ignoring you. 
  • Cryptic Direct Complaints: If you're mad at a specific person, talk to them about it. Don't try to get other people tangled in your shit mess. 
  • Too Detailed Statuses: "I'm Hungry", "Doing Laundry", "Cleaning", "Taking a Shower", these are EVERY DAY THINGS that we ALL DO!!!! We don't give a shit about your daily schedule!
  • The "Best Boyfriend/ Girlfriend EVER!" Statuses: We're all happy for you. Now quit rubbing your so called "PERFECT" relationship in our faces, you arrogant bastards! 
  • Middle Finger Pictures: Very original. I'm not threatened nor intimidated. I want to write 'White Trash' on your face with a Sharpie SO BADLY!
  • Spelling Competitions: When Facebook fights have lost steam, it comes down to who is a better typist.... That makes sense. 
  • "Fuck the World" Statuses: See above Middle Finger Pictures description. 


Now don't be mad at me, because I feel better already! We have all fallen victim or been a culprit to at least most of these. And most of them are not actually Facebook's fault. This is just how people act. Odds are that it won't change. But the first step to change is
Awareness and Admitting. The rest is up to you!

Now go out there and make me proud!



You know how it goes, if you have any hatred for Facebook, tell me by emailing me at LadyEnvy@DividedByZeroPodcast.com
And don't forget that you can
Find me on Facebook and Twitter!
Twitter:  LadyEnvy_DB0
Facebook:  Lady Envy
Comments are always welcome in the box below.

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